Sad Face

Its been a while since I posted.. I haven’t really known what to say.

On the 2nd October, my Dad passed away. This is the first time I’ve been able to write since as I haven’t been able to find words.

Dermot Heffernan turned 60 years old on May 10th 2011 . I carried out his cake and held it as he blew out the candles. On September 17th 2004 I took his arm as I started the long walk down the aisle to marry my Mr. Darcy. On September 21st 1998 he twinkled with excitement when he became a Grandad for the first time. On June 23rd 1979 he  held me in his arms the first time we laid eyes on each other. I will never lay eyes on him again.

We’ve all heard about Grief, there are many stages we are told to expect, anger, denial, acceptance etc. None of those words are big enough to describe the feeling you get when the world as you knew it is pulled from under your feet. It was unexpected, I was unprepared, and the news came as a full force, physical body blow that took every ounce of strength I possessed to pick myself up from.

Our relationships with our parents change over our lifetimes. When we are young we worship them, they are wise, and we bask in the security that they will protect us from whatever the world throws at us. As teenagers, we realise that they are flawed, and accepting that fact leads to all sorts of recriminations, rebellions and retaliations.

As adults, we finally learn to accept them for what they are, and appreciate all that they give. We realise the struggle that parenthood is, the daily sacrifices they made for us, and meet them on a level playing field, allowing new and amazing relationships to be formed.

When they are gone, the loss is monumental. Its only then, that we see them as human and vulnerable. Too late, we finally accept that our time together is limited and precious and no matter how long we have, is far too short.

Rest well Daddio xx

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